Distractions

I am pleased to announce that today the blog post is a distraction from what I was previously doing, and I’m pleased that it’s a distraction because I was writing words! I’ve said a lot recently that it’s been about a year since I’ve felt like creating words with my fingers instead of my mouth and face. I’m relieved. This feels like home. This feels right, and yes, even though for the past year I didn’t feel like a writer, today at least I do once again. I like it.

So speaking of making words with my mouth and face, I started a new YouTube channel recently. My previous channel, Growing Up Walls, was about self-love, self-care, etc, and it was feeling too constricting. I wanted the freedom to do whatever I wanted without feeling like I was going to let people down, so I started Nicki Gets Distracted. I set up rules for myself from the outset: post whatever I want, whenever I want. No guilt allowed if I don’t post for three months, no frantic searching for something to post, anything, when I’m not in the mood. And if I want to post three times a day, then I can do that, too. Shorts? Sure. Livestreams? If I so desire.

I nearly named the channel Distracticat. I actually had the channel name set as that for a while before I posted my first video there. Then I thought better of it – I didn’t want a channel name that left room for interpretation, or caused me to feel compelled to explain the title all the time so no one else missed out on the joke.

The joke being is that I do tend to get distracted. I start projects and invest in them and don’t complete them. I buy yarn for scarves I don’t make. I buy fabric for clothes or stuffed animals or toys that I don’t make. I buy journals I don’t use, I buy handwriting books I don’t practice….

It goes on.

The YouTube channel may be a thing I abandon, but that’s okay because it’s set up to allow for that in my head. And I am trying to be more conscientious of the fact that I do less well with rules and structure with some of these things these days. I didn’t sign up for Camp NaNo this year because the pressure of checking in with a cabin, deciding on a title, picking a goal, writing a summary, and sharing an excerpt makes the entire thing No Heckin’ Fun. But I want to write, so I shall write with the other people also doing Camp and take energy from them, even if I’m not strictly “in the circle.” The A to Z Challenge is supposed to be a blog challenge, but I want to make videos, so I’m finding a way to do both. And if at some point I just am doing daily videos with no regard to the letter of the day, so be it.

We can break the rules that need breaking to make things that we enjoy doing fun again for us. That’s a thing.

So I should be done with this distraction now. I need to go outside and be in the sun for a while, and I need to make a video. I’m trying to make them more “vlog”-y, if that’s a thing, with b-roll (sort of) and extra things to make the entire watching more interesting. I’m not good at it yet, so it’s a work in progress.

I hope you’re having a lovely Monday!