Looking for what you have

I’m really frustrated right now with my inability to express what I’m trying to say, and what I thought I could build an entire post off of (which I now think won’t work). Essentially, a friend told me about a new social network that I thought looked interesting and I thought about joining, because that would finally be the place where I could start over and really be myself.

And that’s bullshit, because I have this damn blog, and it’s essentially the same thing as yelling into the void because I believe a whole two people read it.

So whatever. I’m tired of that idea already. I sound like I’m whining, and that’s not attractive.

Just a couple other thoughts that crossed my mind this week that are significantly less whiny.

I mentioned on Twitter that I would like to have a job where it is a requirement that I pre-order books. And someone I don’t know well but whose tweets I usually enjoy replied that I should be a librarian, and that’s what they’d been doing all morning.

Oddly enough, that has crossed my mind recently. As I spend more time thinking about goals and things I want, I regret not having finished my 4-year degree. The time wasn’t right for it, though, and I wouldn’t have the life I’ve had (good and bad) had I forced my way through. Whatever. That’s not what I wanted to say.

Anyway, so for whatever reason, making a goal to get a Bachelor or even a Master’s degree has held some appeal. I don’t know why I settled on “librarian”.

Damn it. I don’t know where I’m going with this.

Again.

Anyway. Maybe someday I’ll go back to school to become a librarian. Maybe someday I’ll have enough income that I could go back to school to get a Bachelor and Master’s degree, which I believe is the requirement to become a person with a librarian job. Because schooling is fucking expensive, and I shouldn’t have wasted money on it the first time, and I’m sure as hell not going to take out loans for such a thing at this point in my life, in the financial situation I currently exist in.

I’m so scattered today.

It’s Saturday.

Happy weekend.