CRAFT, sleep, lack of caffeine, and other things flying through my head at a million miles an hour
How much of that blog title will make it into the site URL, I wonder?
I need to craft something. Usually I get this urge in December after writing hard during November, but it’s here now. I want to cross stitch or embroider (I don’t know how to do that, by the way), or maybe figure out perler beads.
Painting would even do it at this point.
I’ve not been drinking caffeine lately, and I feel amazing. Here’s what happened:
I gave up caffeine. I went to bed at 9pm every night, woke at 6-ish. Felt pretty good.
But then I was doing laundry and the mini-fridge was stocked with Mtn Dew, so I grabbed one. And we had a bunch at home, so I had another. I brought one for lunch, I had one to wake up on the weekend, and I was feeling tired, and groggy, and so darn sleepy in the afternoon.
So I connected the dots (again – this is not the first time, but it is the first time it feels easy) and decided I liked feeling good in the mornings and I liked not yawning away my afternoons and I like how I feel when I’m not drinking the soda (specifically Mtn Dew, but any caffeinated soda will do).
So I stopped. Again
Maybe for good? It’s hard to tell with me.
I worry that I only write because I think it’ll be some big money windfall and that’s never going to happen, so why am I doing this again? I posted something on Twitter about it yesterday.
Ali clearly wasn’t talking about me in her thread, but OMG – what if that’s why I write? What if the only reason I keep trying to write is because I have it in my head that with hard work and constant publication, I too can get some of that giant cash wad? What if I don’t actually like it?
I have had this argument with myself about other things that I don’t think I have conviction with. It’s a thing.
I haven’t been writing lately, I’ve been playing a lot of Minecraft – Skyblock on Wabbit – and having a whole lot of fun there, so I’m going to ride it as long as it lasts. At some point I’ll get tired of it and move on to something else.
Like crafting. I need to f*ing craft something.
Header cow photo from freestocks.org by Pexels via Canva