The Deleting Urge

Sometimes I get urges to delete things.

Blogs, most frequently. Once a Facebook account. Twice all my Facebook posts (I’ve mentioned that recently.) Other social accounts. A user account that I really regret getting rid of.

Now books.

It’s a good idea. It really is.

But it’s also a bad idea.

But also a really, really good one.

Damn it.

The Deleting Urge is here.

How I write

I like to break the 4th wall.

I like to be a lot silly.

I like to slip in private jokes for my friends, and for me.

I write too much of me into my characters. Shhhh…

I write better when I write fast.

I don’t like to edit much more than for grammar and continuity.

I am struggling a LOT right now with writing. Maybe that’s come up? Or maybe I’ve just been ranting about it in my journal for a few days. It’s stress. Personal stress, family stress, and pandemic stress.

And the fucking masks. I know I mentioned the masks (which I will wear while loathing every second, but not resenting them).

But anyway. I got an idea for a scene — I guess it’s more accurate that a scene started playing in my head — while I was in the bathroom, where a character complains to another character about their nickname, and the second character tries to convince them to go with it, because the author is getting tired of typing it. The first character rationalizes that the reader doesn’t mind reading it, and she prefers it, so it should stay.

I’m going to keep that.

Heh…

Masks

Just a little rant that’s a little too long for Twitter.

I hate wearing the masks.

Here’s a story:

I went to a store yesterday. The temperatures outside were in the high 80’s, I think, but the humidity was tolerable. The store itself was frigid, the air was moving, and it was cool inside.

But I was sweating bullets, despite the cold air on my neck and arms, because my fucking mask is like wearing a diaper on my face. There was sweat on my upper lip dripping into my mouth, for crying out loud. It’s hot. It’s uncomfortable. I can’t wear my glasses with it because the fogging is so bad (I don’t have a mask with a nose wire, yet), and my breath blowing up the nose into my eyes when I wear my glasses is intolerable.

The moment I got into my car, I ripped that fucker off and threw it on the passenger seat. I turned on the air full blast to try to get the sweat that seemed to have sweat off my deodorant under control. I was sweating under my arms, on my neck, under my boobs, not to mention the mask-shaped sweat patch on my face.

I’m still going to wear the fucking mask.

I’ll probably adopt the mask further, if we ever got a vaccine for this fucking disease and I get the vaccine, to don it any time I’m not feeling 100%, because it fucking makes sense. How did this get to be a societal norm in other countries but not here in the US?

I hate the fucking mask, and I’ll bitch about how hot and uncomfortable the fucking mask makes me, but I’ll wear the mask, and I’ll get grumpy about every single person who walks into my office without one without giving me a chance to put mine on (because in my little office where I’m the only person, I feel comfortable not having it on. If I have to walk outside or talk to someone, I’m putting that fucker back on).

Seriously, guys. In an office full of people, stand in the fucking doorway if you’ve decided you’re too good to not wear the fucking mask, even though it’s fucking required to fucking wear it, so I can put mine on and at least protect my-fucking-self.

Fuck.

So there’s that.

Don’t you dare ask me how I’m doing. It should be clear.

Story Titles

I come up with some absolutely spectacular book titles.

But I don’t use them.

And that’s unfair to the titles, because they’re good.

So a Pinterest post I found last night kind of got me thinking.

And it got me thinking in a good way, because I write titles of books that I don’t use because I don’t know how to write a book about the title.

So why not just use the title anyway? Stick it on a book that’s only marginally related (or not related at all), and have a really spectacular subtitle that gives a little context.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s just another sad attempt to try to write. But whatever.

Also, this post is generally a test to remember how to switch the twitter account that gets notified when I post new things. Essentially, I’m going to keep @nivixious as my primary twitter where I say things and retweet things, and @growingupwalls is just going to be the account where you can get notifications of new things – blog posts, YouTube videos, etc. I’m going to stop crossposting YT videos here, so if you want to get alerts, follow @growingupwalls, pls. KTHXBAI!

Potatoes Potatoes

My eldest has started typing “potatoes potatoes,” and in his head he’s saying, “po-tay-toes, po-tah-toes,” but he likes that it just reads “potatoes potatoes,” and I admit, he’s got something there.

So as a declaration of eh, some people like it one way, some people like it another, but it’s essentially the same thing, I offer you this.

You’re welcome.

Shoe

Our very dark cat has one name (Shadow Fluffybutt), but we should have named him Toothless, and occasionally, lately, we call him Shoe. He likes to hang out in the shadows (natch), and my husband has a pair of dark shoes that, when walking through a dark room in the dark where all you can see are dark shapes, could reasonably be mistaken for a large, long-haired cat. Recently, walking through said dark room, I looked at the dark shape on the floor and said, “Are you a shoe?” The potential shoe meowed, and so the shape was not a shoe, but a cat. Still, he’s earned a new nickname.

And an “S” nickname to boot.

750words.com

I’m back to writing at 750words.com every day. It’s no longer free – that ended in 2013, I think? But for $5 a month, I find it worth it. It gives me everything I need. A streak tracker, badges to achieve, and an external reward system that I don’t control except in terms of the time I put into achieving the rewards (the badges).

/end

That’s all I have for today. You don’t want to hear how angry Facebook makes me, or how I’m even becoming frustrated with Twitter. You don’t want to know how I’m following more people on Instagram, which I dislike simply because Facebook owns it, or that I’m actually enjoying TikTok, to a degree.

So I’ll leave that part out.

Heh.